I am trying to outline the journey so far. Then I can write about the present.
In 2005 I took Dad to see a Neuroscientist. After the consultation, the Neuroscientist phoned the house whilst Dad and I were out doing messages. When we arrived home Mum said she had received a phone call from the Neuroscientist. She told us there was nothing wrong with Dad. Mum lied. Why did Mum lie? Denial, shock; perhaps. Mum had a strange attitude concerning mental illnesses. She thought people could control their thoughts, behaviours...mind over matter. Perhaps she thought it best if Dad didn't know, that this in someway would help.
I found out by chance the following year about the Neuroscientist's diagnosis. It was when Mum was in hospital that I took my daughter to our local family Dr and he asked how Dad was doing. He said your Father's Alzheimers must be getting on. I was in shock, even though I knew he had some form of dementia, I knew Mum had lied because he said he had received the diagnosis from the Neuroscientist, the year before. Mum had just come out of intensive care, had a tracheotomy, muscle atrophy. Couldn't talk or move. Certainly wasn't the time to confront her. As Mum became stronger my cousin and I talked about Dad and his Alzheimers as a given. Later when she was strong and could talk and move, my cousin had a chat with her. Mum said she would never be able to cope with Dad's declining state. I never confronted her...it wouldn't have changed anything.
At this stage Dad was still functioning quite well. Considering the stress he was under and being extremely tired he could still follow the same path through the hospital to where Mum was. However, if Mum was moved he couldn't follow instructions of how to get there.
Looking back now I think I was on auto-pilot. Mum was very sick. Dad was slightly confused, not fully understanding Mum's illness. My daughter had a lump on her spine. My younger brother had had episodes of anger at the hospital and I was the brunt of his anger. Oh and the dog was sick, leave hospital got to vet, pick up dog, go back to hospital.
The lump, on my daughters spine turned out (thank goodness) to be a sebaceous cyst.
Upon reflection I don't know how I managed.
In 2005 I took Dad to see a Neuroscientist. After the consultation, the Neuroscientist phoned the house whilst Dad and I were out doing messages. When we arrived home Mum said she had received a phone call from the Neuroscientist. She told us there was nothing wrong with Dad. Mum lied. Why did Mum lie? Denial, shock; perhaps. Mum had a strange attitude concerning mental illnesses. She thought people could control their thoughts, behaviours...mind over matter. Perhaps she thought it best if Dad didn't know, that this in someway would help.
I found out by chance the following year about the Neuroscientist's diagnosis. It was when Mum was in hospital that I took my daughter to our local family Dr and he asked how Dad was doing. He said your Father's Alzheimers must be getting on. I was in shock, even though I knew he had some form of dementia, I knew Mum had lied because he said he had received the diagnosis from the Neuroscientist, the year before. Mum had just come out of intensive care, had a tracheotomy, muscle atrophy. Couldn't talk or move. Certainly wasn't the time to confront her. As Mum became stronger my cousin and I talked about Dad and his Alzheimers as a given. Later when she was strong and could talk and move, my cousin had a chat with her. Mum said she would never be able to cope with Dad's declining state. I never confronted her...it wouldn't have changed anything.
At this stage Dad was still functioning quite well. Considering the stress he was under and being extremely tired he could still follow the same path through the hospital to where Mum was. However, if Mum was moved he couldn't follow instructions of how to get there.
Looking back now I think I was on auto-pilot. Mum was very sick. Dad was slightly confused, not fully understanding Mum's illness. My daughter had a lump on her spine. My younger brother had had episodes of anger at the hospital and I was the brunt of his anger. Oh and the dog was sick, leave hospital got to vet, pick up dog, go back to hospital.
The lump, on my daughters spine turned out (thank goodness) to be a sebaceous cyst.
Upon reflection I don't know how I managed.
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