Antibiotics

Took Dad this morning to our family doctor. His cough was getting worse. The doctor said his chest is clear, no temperature, no sore throat but thought it best to start him on antibiotics to prevent an infection. We were going to have dinner tonight at my married daughters place but decided to postpone until Dad is feeling better.

The 'I am having problems pooing' have subsided. Thank goodness. Dad was becoming quite morose about his difficulties.

Last night Dad was up at 3.45 am wanting to have brekky...helped him back to bed. When I got up around 8 Dad was already up and dressed and asleep in the lounge room so I'm not sure what time he actually got up.

Earlier last night I heard my daughter scream from the lounge room...'the dogs got Pa's teeth'. I'm dog sitting for my married daughter and Dad must have nodded off and his teeth fell out. I managed to retrieve the dentures before the dog took off with them for one of his hard to find places.

FOUND a respite facility

I was feeling quite low and so was Dad but OH MY we found a lovely, small homely centre which caters for only 13 people. He will have his own room with an en-suite. There's a lounge room with a huge TV screen and a piano. They have the occasional sing-a-long which Dad enjoys. The kitchen is on view from the dining room, making it very homely. Their menu for the day was written on a whiteboard for them all to see. Dad likes to know where he's up to with meals. They do the residents laundry for them so I don't have to drop off/pick up clothes to wash. In another large room a staff member was doing art/craft activities with 4 or 5 residents and they were chatting and I got a SMILE from an elderly lady. People were relaxed. And they have another cute resident, a really cute small dog...now that's cool, well it is for people who like dogs and Dad loves dogs. This place I feel really good about and SO DOES DAD. So Dad is having a week in May and I've put down for 2 weeks in July and 2 in September. WAHOO!

On a less positive note on returning home Dad is having 'the I'm having problems pooing again' with him not sitting on the toilet and a mess being made on the floor. Went to help and noticed it's like his Parkinson symptoms are playing up with him not being able to judge where to place his legs and confusion as to why he should sit on the toilet. Oh dear! But knowing I have that respite in May has given me something to look forward to and I don't feel so stressed.

Early brekky.

Yesterday when I went to pick up Dad from his Tues-day care facility the woman in charge told me that Dad had complained that he was unwell. This has happened before where Dad has been upset and has asked for them to phone me to come get him. Once a chap asked him to be quiet because Dad was talking through a program they were watching and Dad then wanted to come home. So yesterday, she checked his temperature and decided it was an emotional upset and got Dad to have a lay down. After a half hour or so Dad was back up and feeling ok. This, I'm sure was brought on by the tour of the 'disturbing facility'.
Last night, Dad had an episode of incontinence and was up wanting brekky at 4.30 am. He had dressed himself and was yelling that he didn't know what went next...the milk in his cereal.
The incontinence episodes I have found happen of a Tues night after he has been at day care. He drinks too much coffee and misses out on the amount of water he has at home. If it happens again next Tues night I will ask them to only let him have one coffee and the rest needs to be water. I feel like the big bad witch at times but if it means he sleeps more comfy and through the night then so be it. So that coupled with him being upset meant he didn't have a good night.
As I write this I'm noticing he is coughing lots more. I think he may have caught my daughters cold...so maybe yesterday he was feeling the beginnings of something coming on.
We have an appointment this arvo for another tour.

Facility disturbed us.

Well, that tour of an elderly care facility didn't go so well. When we entered the dementia specific area there were 30-40 elderly people just sitting around one large room, yet there were other lounge type rooms rooms where they could have sat and even some nice outdoor areas. I was told they were waiting for their dinner yet it was only 4pm. How did they get so many dementia type residents to all be quiet, and I mean silent, not a sound and stay seated? And we passed through that room twice and still no one was chatting. All of the residents were in that room. It was as if they didn't have the choice to be anywhere else. Was this because they were short of staff, were the residents medicated to keep them so docile? Plus the residents were a combination of Low Care and High Care. This concerns me because Dad still has quite lucid days. It disturbed Dad to the point where he screamed out from bed during the evening, 'if I get sick don't take me anywhere'. Later I was up because I couldn't sleep and he got up and said 'I'm your Father, I'm going to die, I'm going to throw myself of a building'...oh dear! That facility also had some great things about it. A large deck over looking a meandering creek in a bush setting. An absolutely beautiful setting but something wasn't right in that room.

So I have an appointment tomorrow at another place which has only 13 beds and is only for low care residents. They have a week vacancy for respite in May and 2 weeks in June. Fingers crossed again.

Fingers crossed for respite

We have an appointment this afternoon to have a look at another facility for respite. Hopefully all goes well.

My brother visited from interstate and did some maintenance. Thank you brother. Dad was delighted to see him and gave him one of the copies of the booklet of my brothers degree confirmation, which Dad had kept for years. This had been playing on Dad's mind. I just hope he remembers that he gave it to him.

Yesterday and last night I kept getting a migraine (I have only ever had a few in my life). I found that I needed to lay in darkness to get some relief. During the night Dad kept waking and getting dressed and turning on lights. After a while he would return to bed and turn off the lights. Usually I get up and help him back to bed but last night I was in zombie mode and when I woke this morning Dad was dressed and in the lounge and happy as Larry after eating a couple of ice creams.

Respite falls through and more changes with Dad.

I received a phone call from the care facility where Dad was going next week. They've had to cancel because they're taking an admission. I was so looking forward to having a break and Dad was looking forward to going. I'm so disappointed. I was actually planning a trip, searching online when I got the call. So the search begins again and all the paper work. We have an appointment on Monday to have a look another place. Fingers crossed.

Dad is losing more of awareness to time. He asks 'what's the next meal' throughout the day, I think as some way of anchoring him to the time. If has a nap he wakes and thinks it's breakfast time and is very confused that it's still the same day. He is also saying things which would if he was well could cause trouble within the family. He had a conversation with my cousin and he came across as if of the opinion that he and Mum were dwindled out of some shared lottery winnings. Since then he has said the opposite that he wanted me to give my cousin money because he thought him and Mum dwindled her out of them. He was quite upset and has asked me a few times no matter what to make it right with her. He also has said things about other family members, saying they said this and that. He also told the people at his day centre facility that my daughter won a scholarship, no she didn't. And when my daughters were in Japan he said to me he kept it all hush, hush and didn't tell anyone why they were there; huh! oh ok they were on holidays. If a well person said these things you would call them a troublemaker. I grit my teeth and have to put these things he says aside or I'd end up confused, worried or angry for days. This seems to be the beginning of him losing all sense of reality.

He has also taken to screaming out my name from another room if I don't immediately answer or go to the room to see what it is he wants. I may be on the phone and he wants the TV channel changed. Also I can tell him I'm going ie, out to garden or to the line and he forgets and screams out for me or comes searching for me. He is definitely becoming more frustrated with everything.

Dad also had an hallucination one night. He woke me up and said come and listen to what the woman who is sitting on the red blanket is saying. I have to say being woken at 3 am to hear this, half asleep myself, well it scared the living daylights out of me. He didn't seem frightened. If anything he sounded surprised and happy that she was there and he had someone to chat with.

Avalon Airshow

Friday I took Dad to the Avalon Airshow. It was very impressive, the F18's with their after burners flaring, spit-fires and their manoeuvres and the noise. But it was a stressful afternoon. As soon as we got in the gates Dad wanted to go back to the car. We had had a bit of a walk from the car so found him a seat to rest which I had to continuously do. Plus he wanted to go to the toilet heaps. So I had to plan strolls to look at planes, tanks, helicopters etc from a base of our very rare seats, near a toilet and after looking at one going back for a rest. We still managed to see quite a bit. After 3 hours Dad had had enough so we begun the walk back to the car. At the entrance I asked a shuttle mini-bus driver if they were taking people back to their cars, no, but explained that Dad was worn out. The very nice chap gave us a very much appreciated lift back to the car (it was a 10 min walk mmm 20-30 for Dad).
The drive home took us near where Dad and Mum grew up so I took Dad for fish'n'chips down at his old beach and a bit of a drive around his old town. The house his Dad built has been pulled down, his brothers house on the foreshore gone too and enormous houses have replaced them. But the house in which Mum and Dad lived when they first were married (and where I lived till I was 2) was still there.
Dad had a great day but in future I think I will plan quieter, less strenuous days for outings.

What a relief.

Everything went really, really well. I told Dad this morning about having a holiday (respite) for a week. At first he was slightly troubled and wanted to phone my brother who lives interstate but as he sat and thought about it, he concluded by saying I wasn't having much of a life and that he was ok with the idea. Still never ceases to amaze me. So we went off and had a tour of this wonderful new facility that looks like it should be in Palm Springs and we were both super impressed with the facilities and activities. From what I could see of the interaction between staff and residents, it all looked great and people were smiling. Whilst we were there Dad seemed quite excited at the idea of staying there for a week and yes he is booked in to have a week from the 23rd of this month. Since being back home his anxieties about it have risen but if I keep him busy and occupied, hopefully it wont be too overwhelming for him. Tomorrow we are off to an airshow. He is going to love seeing the jet fighters and the old bombers. Personally I'm not into war machines but can appreciate the technology.
I am so very relieved that everything turned out well. I don't know what I would have done if he had have cried and said he didn't want to go.
I learnt a lot from Dad today and just hope if ever I am in his shoes one day that I too can be as diplomatic about it all as he was today.

Taking deep breath...

As I write this Dad is eating his brekky and I am wondering how I'm going to tell him about the appointment we have, this arvo, to look at a facility for respite. For the past few weeks I have been at arms with myself trying to avoid this day. I have appointments to look at other places later this month. This really sucks!