Dad's last few days at home

The last couple of days have been exhausting.

How Dad ended up at the hospital yesterday-

Wednesday the assessor lady came. She showed me how to assist Dad when walking. BUT she may have been a bit too vigorous. She shouldered him, taking his arm and propelled Dad forward 'saying 'big steps', big steps' and whizzed him to the toilet and throughout the house. She was very forceful, kind of like a strict head mistress. She even laughed and said 'I am bossy aren't I'. I'm not bagging her because she was super lovely and caring. My Dad's cartilage surgery from 30 or so years ago didn't cross my mind.

Thurs day morning Dad was having a bit of trouble walking with my assistance. I found it difficult to get him to the toilet. I thought if he gets any worse I'm not going to be able to move him. That afternoon I went and hired a wheel chair.

Friday my cousin comes over to help me shower Dad. Neither of us noticed that Dad's knee and leg was swollen. Dad didn't mention any pain.

Saturday I was dressing Dad. He was sitting and I looked at his knees...one was twice the size.
Phone for an ambulance. The medics asked what had occurred over the last few days. It was them who asked what and how the assessor had gone about her tasks. They thought because that was the quickest Dad had been walked for some time coupled with his old surgery that some damage had been done to the tissue. The poor assessor would be devastated if she knew that maybe she had done this. She wasn't to know and I certainly didn't think about Dad's old surgery.

At the hospital, the Dr thought the same. The swollen area wasn't hot. Thank goodness it wasn't an infection. My four cousins came to the hospital too even though two were flying out today for Hawaii and still had lots to do. It makes such a difference to Dad's demeanour having company. Plus I'm so worn out that I really needed the company. My cousin who is my daughters God Mother insisted I go with her and get some lunch and they all fussed over Dad and he lapped it up. It was good to see Dad smiling and he told my cousins lovely partner when she asked him how he hurt his leg, that he did it chasing woman.
The Dr said Panadol, elevate the leg, ice the area and keep the compression bandage on for a week or so. Emergency respite was mentioned and because we have a long weekend (Melbourne Cup) it would be impossible to organise, so the Dr suggested that the hospital keep Dad until Thursday. This wasn't going to be happening. NO WAY!

Leaving the hospital my cousins partner is a nurse and she helped Dad from the wheel chair into the car. They came back to the house and again she helped and showed me how to get Dad out of the car and up the stairs into the house. She stayed and showed me how to get Dad to put his hand on the wheel chair arm to help himself lift up to get him to the toilet etc. She also sat with him and helped him take his medication, eat, drink and showed me the best way to get the nappy on whilst Dad was laying on the bed. I've had two children but it's not the same trying to get a nappy on an Adult.
I noticed how Dad's special cousin layed beside Dad on the bed and stroked his hair. It just breaks your heart. At the hospital he was asking the Dr to check this, check that. I just love him to pieces. Last night in bed I was thinking about his lovely partner and I was sad that my Mum never got to meet her. They would have hit it off like a house on fire. She would have been so tickled pink that he had met someone so special.

Last night whilst putting Dad to bed I was horrified to find out that Dad has stage 1 pressure sores on his bottom from sitting too much since his leg has been swollen. Cousins lovely partner, from now on CLP, told me to check in the morning to see if it was gone. Yay, this morning no redness.
CLP said to phone her today if I needed any help and she would come over after work.
Dad slept through the night and slept till 10.30. Wow! He was absolutely exhausted.

So far today I have managed. I sponged bath Dad...ooohhh! Last night I didn't think I could but this morning seeing Dad so helpless in bed I just took a deep breath and did it. I got a hand towel to move his delicate bits. I could tell that he was grateful. Washing him down seemed to soothe him and in turn it soothed my soul.

On a visit to the loo Dad kept saying to get the dog shit out of the way. We don't have a dog. We both laughed and laughed.

Over the next couple of hours Dad has screamed, sobbed, laughed and hallucinated. When he says there are people in the lounge room and that he must be dreaming. I tell him to look out for Mum in his dreams.
Dad had only been up and out of bed for three hours when he wanted to go back to bed. Dad never asks to go to bed. Since in bed, Dad has screamed out sobbing for his Mum. I went up and re-positioned the pillow at his back and rubbed his shoulders. He has gone back to sleep.

Tuesday my brother flies in from interstate to help and to be there on Thursday. That damn awful day that looms ahead when Dad leaves his home.

Over the next few days I have to get Dad's GP to write up Dad's history and on going medication. Do that dreaded paper work of signing over Dad's care. Catch up on washing so I can PACK my Dad's clothes and get together ONLY SOME of his things...the special bed side light Dad made for Mum-an English styled Tudor home with a moving gentleman in a top hat with his arms around his wife. Or the 2ft statue of an olden days sailor. Think Pirates of the Caribbean and you will have some idea what it looks like. Dad wanted this for the lounge room and Mum wasn't so sure about it. Dad left all the house interior decisions to Mum. Dad was unusually adamant that he wanted this statue. It actually looks wonderful standing on the fire hearth and at the time, it did make all of us laugh. Mum came to love this funny pirate looking sailor. I think Dad wanted it because his Dad was a fisherman who built his own boat. Mum and Dad used to have a boat, which as a family, we spent many hours cruising around the bay and lakes and rivers; fishing Mum loved to fish even more than Dad did. So next Thursday I will put the old sailor statue in the car with Dad, so they can continue their journey, their voyage, together.