I helped Dad to bed last night about 8pm. He began screaming shortly after. He screamed my name over and over and over and over. I went up and re-positioned him and wiped his face. He continued to scream. He has started to cough lots of phlegm and make lots of saliva. Every 5 minutes or so I helped him to wipe his mouth. Around 10 I gave him a clonazepam thinking he would then sleep. NOPE! He continued to scream and scream and sob. I stayed up till 3am helping him. He was still screaming so I looked up online, dosage etc and gave Dad another clonazepam 0.5mg. I told him I had to get some sleep. He continued to scream my name for hours. It was doing my head in. Some nights he screams 'help me, help me' over and over again which is disturbing but the nights he screams my name really, really does my head in. I'm shattered.
You all must wonder why brother at home doesn't hear Dad. He wears hearing aids plus he lives in a self contained extension to the house. Brother's bedroom is at one end of the house and Dad's is at the other end.
I've noticed that the day following a night of screaming Dad has a good day. He is not so sleepy and more alert. The day following a complete night of sleep, Dad continues to be sleepy. There seems to be a pattern, like his internal body clock slows down, speeds up, slows down, speeds up. Reminds of something I read where an elderly lady would sleep for 2 days then be awake for 2 days.
I hope the neighbours understand because it sounds like I'm either killing him or neglecting him.
This morning my younger brother actually asked how Dad was. My other brother must have spoken to him. I was just about to give Dad a sponge bath and I asked him if he wanted to help. He hasn't ever shown that much interest in Dad. His reply was 'I'll do it, I'll do it'. Well you could have knocked me over with a feather. So with guidance brother sponged bathed Dad then he left to have a shower and I continued, to dress, clean dentures, get brekky etc. Oh dear! I'm tired and having a whinge.
So far today Dad has been able to walk with my assistance, albeit extremely slowly.
3 days left...I feel too tired today to feel any emotion. Wrung out!
Brother from interstate arrives tomorrow morning. I can't tell you how relieved I'm going to be when I see his face.
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Words can't describe how horrific I feel for you and your Dad in going through this. I hope your brothers pitch in the last few days and that they are supportive to you and your Dad when he has to go - there is strength in numbers. Mostly, I know your Dad probably can't express it, but how lucky is he to have a daughter like you being there for him. I don't personally think I could do what you have done for your Dad. My thoughts and prayers will be for you through this tough time.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a strong, caring, and loving daughter! Bravo to you for being able to struggle through this horrible illness with your Dad!!
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