Sleep deprivation

Dad had another bad night, waking at 2am from wetting the bed. I have started to put him in night nappies but he had wet through the nappy and was wet and so was the bed. I got him and the bed clothes changed and went back to sleep only to be woken again at 4 and 5 and 6. I feel quite ragged. This week, one morning I had what the dr thinks was a panic attack. I ended up passed out on the floor and had hit my forehead on the skirting board. The dr checked me out, blood pressure ok, eyes ok etc. It's after bad nights, the sleep deprivation makes me feel quite sick, it's more than just tired. On good days I'm beginning to feel better than I have in ages.
Dad's general health is good and he remains in good spirits but I'm noticing he is wanting to go to bed earlier, the disturbed nights must be having an affect.
This Sat my married daughter turns 25, the following week I turn 49 and 3 days later Dad turns 76. My married daughter has the flu, arrrgghhhh. When she told me my stomach turned over, she was a chronic asthmatic as a child/teenager. I think I asked her 'do you have the swine flu' 3 times. No, thank goodness. Hopefully we will all catch up for dinner next week.
The day after Dad's birthday he goes into respite for 2 weeks and I'm going to get away for a few days to recharge.

Gout

Oh and did I forget to mention GOUT, yep I have gout also.

The first 2 days of taking the tablets/vitamins I felt recharged and felt the best I had felt in years but today I ache like I have the flu and are tired. I need to talk further with my dr and want further tests about the gout.

I knew I felt tired.

I knew I felt tired but put it down to the situation, wakings through the nights and picking daughter up sometimes in the wee hours of the morning after she has finished working. Well, now I know there is another reason why I felt so tired. I went to see my dr to get my blood results and I have an under active thyroid. My dr told me to read about Hashimoto's disease and put me on Eutroxsig 100mcg (Thyroxine sodium) per day. This explains why I have found it difficult to shed 10 kilos and why I feel so tired plus some other symptoms like sore knees whilst I was painting the side fence to the point where it scared me because I could only kneel for 5 - 10 mins then I was in pain, bad pain. I look now at the nearly painted fence bar for the 3/4 along the bottom where I haven't finished and it makes sense. The dr also explained because Mum had Rheumatoid Arthritis and Dad has Pernicious Anemia that Hashimoto's was my auto-immune disease attached to (not sure whether he said the same gene) but it was typical of parents with these auto-immune diseases. I have to have another blood test in 3 months.

I also had high sugar levels after a fasting blood test. The dr phoned the pathologist whilst I was there to have further tests done on my blood, I have an appointment next Monday to find out these results. The dr discussed my sugar levels as being type 2 diabetes linking it to the extra weight I'm carrying. He wasn't specific in discussing this as he needs the blood results back.
I need to exercise more and hopefully the thyroid medication will now allow me to shed those 10 kilos. And there was more! I also have a mega Vitamin D deficiency and I'm now taking 75mcg (3 vit D tablets) per day for 3 months then see from blood tests whether to cut back the dose. This I can can understand as I don't get outside as much as I used to.

Fatigue is a symptom of the 3...I knew I felt tired.

And poor Dad was up at 3.30 am having breakfast, all the lights were on. I got up and asked him to go back to bed but he didn't want to go and I was too tired to argue. I got up at 8 and Dad had had 2 brekkys. At 11 am Dad was asleep at the table so he has gone back to bed for a nap.

Now I can see why I was finding it difficult to get Dad out and about. My patience level wasn't as it used to be and days out totally exhausted me. It all makes sense.

I'm still getting my head around things and need to work out a plan so I can begin to feel lively again.

Vistited Dad and 'Samson and Delilah' a movie

I visited Dad on Friday. Dad was in good spirits and had spent the afternoon doing arts and crafts. Dad was a terrific drawer, no, an amazing drawer when he was younger. It was he when I was little, if I was bored who said why don't you go and spend the afternoon drawing. He also told me about how he had won something but wasn't sure how he had won it or what he had won. I think it was answering questions about animals.

A woman called me aside and told me Dad had been incontinent a couple of nights and that they were putting him in a night nappy. This may seem strange but I was relieved that someone else had made this decision for me. I didn't want to put Dad in a nappy, it would seem like the last vestige had been crossed. At home Dad's incontinence episodes happen infrequently and if they continue like that then he will only wear the nappies when he stays in respite.

I had a terrific day, yesterday, with my girls and son-in-law. We had lunch at the veggie bar in Fitzroy, went to the Australian Centre for Contemporary Art and saw exhibits using, glass, light and sound. One being a massive structure with flood lights linked with a sensor that set off the lights and a speaker which sounded a very loud woooosh sound. People stood around waiting to see people's reactions. The interactive element changed the ambiance within the gallery so much with strangers chatting and laughing. We then went and saw an amazing movie, 'Samson and Delilah'. The most moving, haunting and beautiful movie I have seen in years. Its a love story of 2 Aboriginal teenagers in a remote community in the Central Australian Desert. The movie has great reviews and the showing we went to was sold out. But if I was to say it's about a boy who is addicted to petrol sniffing and that there is very little dialogue with the main character only speaking once you would think I was crazy but this movie works on so many levels. It was funny, tragic and beautiful and so very powerful. This movie will win awards and rightly so.
We then had dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant, yummo. I had a great day, thanks daughters and son-in-law.

Daughter's Graduation and Dad's pants.

Dad is having another week in respite. He seemed non-plus about going, neither wanting to nor not wanting to. His reaction reminded me of a teenager who doesn't want you to know their feelings. I personally think he was more pleased because he does enjoy company. This week I'm catching up with the dentist and having an overhaul by the doctor.

I received an email from the manager of the care facility asking me if I wished to place Dad's name on the waiting list for a permanent position. Dad likes the facility and so do I, and if Dad's respite stays continue to go well, then this place will be great, so I replied; yes, but I don't wish to take up the offer till the time is right. When that time comes, his name will be at the top of the list and everything should go smoothly, I hope.

During the past couple of weeks Dad has been well. My daughter had her Arts Degree graduation ceremony and Dad and I went. It was a fantastic day sharing the celebrations of so many talented people. My daughter had a magic day and was absolutely radiant with happiness. My daughter studied Arts at a country Uni, so we had a bit of a drive, all-in-all 7 1/2 hours. The event completely tired Dad out and for a few days after, he slept till lunch time. Oh and whilst we were having afternoon tea in the auditorium at the graduation ceremony, Dad's pants fell down...not to the floor but almost to his knees. I was holding onto my sandwiches and his sandwiches and all I could do was say 'Dad pull your pants up' a few times until he processed what I was saying and pulled them up. I'm afraid by the time he pulled them up I was in hysterics, laughing. Dad saw the funny side to it, luckily and I was very pleased that daughter had wandered off at that stage to chat with others because when I told her she said 'Ohhh it had to be my family'. I thought about the pants episode later and I think Dad is sometimes holding in his stomach muscles like you do when you breathe in. I had noticed that when I help him do up his pants he holds in his stomach muscles and I have to tell him to relax them. This kind of thing also happened when he was in the emergency department a few months ago and the nurse told him to breathe in so she could listen to his chest. When she had finished I had to tell him he could breathe normally.

My daughter and I have noticed Dad is showing some anger. If I have a shower he thinks I'm going somewhere and he is going to miss out. I say 'miss out' because it's not the fear of being left alone it's a 'I miss out'. It also happens at times when I have given Dad a meal and then daughter comes home from Uni, work etc and has a meal at a different time to us, Dad then thinks he has missed out on a meal. One evening Dad was growling under his breath and then stormed off early to bed. Daughter was a bit rattled by his behaviour because he is always so polite and passive. I think I will have to give Dad a small plate of food at those odd meal times so he doesn't become so bothered.

I'm finding it difficult at restaurants and in general when out, if there is no male present, to help Dad go to the toilet so I'm having a belated Mother's Day with my 2 girls on Saturday. We're going to have lunch and go to a few galleries.