Yesterday I received a phone call from a staff member of the care facility saying Dad is agitated and wants to speak to my brother!!! I spoke to Dad and reassured him that he is coming home Monday. I suspect that when brother with problems visited Dad that he fuelled the misconception of how Dad thought he was staying till Xmas and that somehow brother with problems was going to fix everything. My brother is going to cause problems by saying to Dad things such as 'I will look after you' when he can't but Dad will think he can and this is going to make it very difficult come the next respite stay...banging head against brick wall!!!
I pick up Dad in the morning. I hope he settles back in ok and doesn't feel angry or betrayed. I also hope that the stay hasn't been detrimental to his functioning capacity. When I spoke to him on the phone I was able to brighten him up by getting him to tell me of the day excursions he's been on.
I'm about to head off to pick up married daughter's dog for another holiday at our place. He is so cute and is terrific company for Dad.
The past 2 weeks have absolutely flown by. My daughter, who lives at home and I have sat up watching DVD's together, we've been out shopping together and have just generally enjoyed catching up and doing ordinary, every day things together. She also has been able to write and study in a peaceful house and sleep throughout the night. The respite has been good for both of us.
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I'm happy you and your daughter had such a good time!
ReplyDeleteMaybe brother should have limited contact?? If it upsets Dad, it would be best for HIM in the long run although it may seem unfair to both of them. I don't know--that's a sticky situation!
Hi seniorsafari,
ReplyDeleteYou are right and yes it is a sticky situation. I'm hoping other brothers phone calls will sort things out. The brother that lives at home with us doesn't spend very much time with Dad at home. He doesn't have the patience and ends up yelling at Dad. He can go 2-3 weeks without even talking to Dad. It's just when changes occur that he then can't cope and he becomes angry and has trouble processing his emotions. I'm relieved he listens to other brother...it would be hell if he didn't.
Thanks for your insight and if there ever is a major episode that effects Dad's health or well being I will step in and limit the contact.