I just returned from the doctors and he recommends that Dad be placed in permanent care sooner than later. I was hoping to get till Christmas but he is concerned about my health, my Hashimotos. It's the inflammation throughout my body and the pain it causes plus the damage to organs. He discussed cortisone injections and told me he suggests to patients to try to plod along until really necessary because of side effects. He also explained from my recent blood results that caring for Dad is 24/7 and that it's not possible to maintain round the clock care when I must feel part-time well...soooooo...what to do? Dad has a respite stay coming up in late September, at the moment I think I will plan that as a marker to get to, then home a month and then it will be time, that's if all falls into place with the care facility.
Not a good day.
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I am very sorry to hear this. It sounds like there is a part of you that agrees with the Dr. But I'm wondering, if maybe there is a "happy medium" that nobody has thought of yet? My mom is in assisted living, and I still do a lot of her care myself. But the assisted living people are there to pick up the slack. I think it's been the best thing we could have done for my mom.
ReplyDeleteI'm not saying that's the best thing for your dad, but maybe if you brainstorm and maybe, if you have access to one, call your local Senior Linkage Line for resources, maybe there are options that you aren't familiar with yet.
It does sound like your health is suffering. I hope you can find a solution that helps you and helps your heart be comfortable, too.
So sorry to hear this. I agree with Carol, perhaps Assisted Living would be a better choice???
ReplyDeleteHi Carol and Seniorsafari,
ReplyDeleteThankyou for your concern and suggestion, but different people, ooccupational therapsits, aged care assessors have measured and determined the level of care Dad needs. Dad was first determined to need low-level care 2 years ago.
The low-level care place where Dad has been for respite and I'm hoping will be the place I can get him into is a home like environment with activities, outings, allowing them to be as independent as they can be. As Dad can't be left alone, he can't dress himself, he is incontinent of an evening, needs assitance
going to the toilet (forgets where it is, can't manoevere his way on to it), can't shower himself, shave, clean his teeth etc, he can't get his meals, go out alone...he gets lost in the house...has some really bad nights screaming not knowing its night time...this place fits his needs.
I will be able to take Dad out on outings, bring him home for christmas etc plus he likes the place with more people to socialise with.
I have had 2 years to get my head aroud the enivatble but it doesn't make it any easier.
In total its been 4 and half years of being a carer, I cared for Mum also, rheumatoid athritis and COPD, at times she was completely inmobile and sadly she passed away 2 yrs ago.
I have to make the decision and be able to live with that and it certainly isn't a decision I take lightly.
Hi Carol;
ReplyDeleteI hope this works out well for you. We are also in the process of placing my Dad in care and there is such a long wait list for the really good places. It feels good to know I am not alone in having to make decisions like this. I think of it this way - if we don't look after our own health we won't be any help to anyone. Best wishes.