The nights are long.

Friday night Dad slept till 3am then started to scream out, he had wet the bed and needed to go to the toilet. Help him to the loo, he couldn't sit down, said he forgot how to, help him down. Verbal directing seems to help. Change him, have learnt to just put a towel over wet spot because some nights it can happen 3 times a night. I have to help Dad into bed, he can't manoeuvre himself down, so he sits on the side and I help him on to his side and roll him over. His legs, when I do this are stiff and up at a 45 degree angle, that's when he is on his back till I roll him over. At 4.30 the screaming started again. Go up to his room, ask what's wrong. Get told someone has pissed in this bed. Pull back the doona's and he has slipped off his nappy and pj bottoms but the bed is dry, help him to the toilet again. Get him dressed and back in bed. At 7 the screaming starts again, go to his room, tells me he can't move, I freak out...think stroke...but no it's Lewy taking hold of his body, help him to the toilet and back to bed. Then the 20 minute wakings begin, mmmm at this stage I feel like I have had no sleep, absolutely exhausted.
One morning about 3 am Dad was singing very, very loudly 'Waltzing Maltilda'.
Last night Dad slept till 4.30 and was screaming out, he was in the loo, wee all over the floor and his slippers and his pj's tangled over his slippers. I think he was trying to manage without waking me, which is really sad too. Around 8am Dad was in the hallway talking through my door, telling me he didn't know where he was. Get up, help him to the loo, direct him...wash hands, get your teeth, clean them, ready for brekky. But that bit later 1st waking by Dad helps me to feel not so tired.
I have noticed his eyes are becoming more and more glazed as Lewy takes over.


Last week I took Dad to the movies to see GI Joe. He really, really loved it, all the action. Dad loves action movies. Before we went in Dad went to the loo, was in there awhile, began to think need to get a man to check on him, when he poked his head through the door and told me to come in because there was no toilets. Next time we are out I will have to take Dad to the disabled loo and help him. When I think back, why did I let him go in by himself in first place...because he was quite good...until Lewy showed up.


The last few times I have had a shower, Dad gets really angry,...tells me 'I'm going for a walk', anger all over his face. This really throws me because it's so unlike my Dad. Takes awhile for him to calm down, sometimes till the following day. Last shower, I was using the hair dryer, have door open so I can hear Dad, and I sensed someone out the corner of my eye, it was Dad, still as can be in a hunched over kinda wrestlers stand and angry. Scared the hell out of me.


Because my Hashimoto's, an autoimmune disease makes me tired, some days really fatigued with aching muscles and joints plus because it has effected my kidneys I have high levels of uric acid which doesn't help so I had to get it around my head that until Dad's next respite stay, late September, I am in plod mode just doing the basic necessities to get through each day. I am exhausted, have a sore throat...really tired.
I miss spending time with my girls.

Dr recommends permanent care.

I just returned from the doctors and he recommends that Dad be placed in permanent care sooner than later. I was hoping to get till Christmas but he is concerned about my health, my Hashimotos. It's the inflammation throughout my body and the pain it causes plus the damage to organs. He discussed cortisone injections and told me he suggests to patients to try to plod along until really necessary because of side effects. He also explained from my recent blood results that caring for Dad is 24/7 and that it's not possible to maintain round the clock care when I must feel part-time well...soooooo...what to do? Dad has a respite stay coming up in late September, at the moment I think I will plan that as a marker to get to, then home a month and then it will be time, that's if all falls into place with the care facility.

Not a good day.

Son-in-law gets new job

This is the best news I have had in ages, it's so exciting. My son-in-law worked in a call centre whilst he was at uni and for the past year since finishing his degree and NOW he has got a job he really, really wanted. He studied interior design in the form of interior architecture. If you think of shopping centre's interiors (malls), lobbies, bars how to utilise the space, natural light, safety, correct eco friendly materials all with a cutting edge design, well that's him. He does the computer building of the image using a program like cad. So needless to say he and daughter are over the moon. He starts on Monday, wahoo!

We haven't been able to get to the Zoo. We've had very windy days with rain which is good for our drought and dam levels but alas we've been housebound. Hopefully this week we will make it, boy do we need to get out, he's bored and I'm bored!!!

I've noticed Dad is becoming quite stooped, bent shoulders and a lean to one side. Some days his walking is so slow and others he can be quite speedy. When I shower him and ask him to turn around, 9 out of 10 times he turns the wrong way...'no Dad the other way'.

And just now he has been to the toilet and he tells me what he has done and I asked him if he wiped...no. It's the functions, toileting, showering and dressing that are noticeably declining. Most of the time he remains mentally within the moment, sometimes has trouble with my name.
Oh the other evening daughter visited and he couldn't work out which granddaughter it was and asked about 5 times, which one was here and who was in the city with their husband. He ended up in tears of laughter with my daughter as they went through...'no Pa, it's me...no Pa (Dad tells everyone how this granddaughter is on her second degree) it's me with the degree...He eventually felt comfortable within himself as to which granddaughter she was.

Hoping lots more good days are on their way.